My Girl

I want a girl. I want a girl that I can love. That I can fall for every single time I look at her. A girl that no matter what she says or does I will never think anything less of her; A girl who knocks me off of my feet by just looking at me. I want to love her so bad that it hurts. That it kills me every time she has to go away. I want to love her so bad that I would do anything for her. God I know that sounds so fucking cheesy, but when I think of it whenever I have thought about wanting a girl this is what I wanted. No girl has ever really made me feel this way. Not Jaimie, not Lenora. It’s sad. I care about both of them, and did while we were and are going out. I used to think that I just loved differently. But now I know. I don’t love differently at all. It’s just all of the girls I meet and start to date don’t live up to my standards. I know it sounds selfish, but shouldn’t I be entitled to everything that everyone else claims to feel? Why shouldn’t I? I hear all these people talk about the love they’re in and it pisses me off. I used to be so damn bitter. I never knew why. Now I know. I want to experience what I see in the movies. I want to meet a girl that is amazing. That I would introduce to my parents with pride. I want to love her for my whole life. I want to look into her eyes and know that she is everything I could ever want; and I want her to see the same in my eyes. I want to grow old with her; I don’t care if it comes easy or hard, if we are dirt poor, or filthy rich, as long as our love is true. That is all I care about. The rest of life won’t matter as long as I have her. This is why I love epic movies so much. Epic movies have epic love stories. Achilles’ and Briseis; Tristan and Isolde; Rick and Ilsa; Fuck, Harry and Ginny. It doesn't matter at all. Every great movie has a great love story. And every time I see one I melt. No, that’s not gay. I fucking go crazy when I see love like that. I want it so bad. I want to be able to love someone as fiercely, passionately, and insanely as these characters. I want her to be my equal in every way. I don’t want to look up to her nor do I want her to be anywhere near below me. I want her to be someone that I am crazy for; and who is crazy for me. I want her to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but brilliantly intelligent, horrendously funny, and amazingly real. I want a girl that whenever I see her I get butterflies in my stomach, goose bumps on my skin, and pains in my heart. I don’t know what else to say, but please God, whoever or whatever you are, if you even give a damn about me please help me find her.